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Stay safe.

So recently there have been a lot of buzz, spotlighted around an almost-abduction/rape of a girl in the B2 carpark of The Curve in Mutiara Damansara. One reason why it affected me quite a lot was because it's The Curve! I've been there hundreds of times, parked in the same carpark alone (B2) numerous times as well, and I've always thought it was relatively safe. Also, it's so close to my house.

Anyway, I'd just like to share the personal experience of the girl who went through this horrifying experience, with the hope that IF (hopefully never), it ever ever happens to anyone reading this blog, this MIGHT have helped you in any way possible.

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As I sit here writing this, I am just so grateful to be alive.

To think that 30 hours ago I had a knife to my throat, face to face with the threat of being kidnapped and raped.

It was a Sunday, at 5.22PM. I was alone, walking towards my boyfriend's car in level B2 of The Curve, Mutiara Damansara. He was not in town, and I was running errands with his car. Just as I was putting my shopping bags in the rear seat, the rear car door was slammed against my back, and a meat cleaver was pressed against my throat. A man covered my mouth with his hand, and whispered not to scream. He then shoved me onto the floor of the backseat of the car and waved the cleaver at me, reminding me not to scream. He was skinny, wearing a baggy turqoise blue t-shirt, had a thick moustache and short curly hair, approx 5'8", mid-30s, and of Indian descent.

At this moment, second man appeared. He was also in his mid-30s. He was wearing a red t-shirt, had a crewcut, and was of Malay descent. He grabbed my car keys and demanded for my parking ticket. I couldn't remember where it was. They shoved me deeper into the car, and the Indian man got into the back seat with me, while the Malay man got into the driver's seat, driving us out of the carpark.

I told them they could take everything, just let me go. But at that point they didn't even ask for money. Instead, the Indian man started to make sexual advances. Then it hit me. "Oh my God. Oh my God. This is really happening. I'm being kidnapped.. and I think I know what they want."

//

From this moment on, there were a few crucial things that happened that I think is the reason I'm alive today. 

1. I managed to get into a position to escape.

 When they got into the car, the Indian man had tried to force my body down onto the floor. I knew that the moment I'm on the floor, there would be no chance of escape. So I begged him to let me sit up. I promised him I wouldn't scream or alert anyone's attention. Thankfully, he trusted me, and let me sit up, gripping my arm tightly. Then I told him my arm really hurt and to please not grip it so hard. He loosened his grip.

2. I did not fight for the sake of fighting.

 I was in an enclosed space, with no clear escape route. I would never win in a fight with these 2 guys, especially when they have sharp weapons. Had I fought from the get go, I may not have been in a position to escape. I might've even been knocked out cold, and God only knows where I would be right now. 

3. I was lucky and sneaky.

I knew that the only way to escape, was to jump out of the car, even if it was moving. They had locked the car doors. So I leaned back, pretended to scratch my hair, and shakily unlocked the door I was leaning against. I'm so lucky they did not see or hear this!

4. I went 'crazy' at the right time.

And then I waited. I knew that the car would have to slow down outside the parking lot, as it exits to merge with the main roads. The moment it slowed down, I opened the car door and tried to make a run for it. I failed. I kicked my legs out of the car, but the Indian man had managed to pull my body back in. From this moment on, everything is a blur. I remember the Malay driver temporarily stopping the car, leaning over from the driver's seat and attempting to close the door and pull my legs in. At that point I remember thinking, "Even if I don't get out now, I need to keep the door open and my legs out the door. At the very least, it should cause a scene, and someone would see me. Or, the door might hit another car and they'll be forced to slow down." So I continued kicking. My right foot pushed against the wide-open car door to keep it open. I recall elbowing, struggling, kicking, and even biting. I lost my glasses, and was struggling blindly for my life. At some point the Malay driver yelled, "BAGI DIA LEPAS! BAGI DIA LEPAS!" (Let her go! Let her go!) and the Indian man loosened his grip. I made a jump out of the still-moving car, and ran for my life. 

5. I acted in spite of the fear.

My friends said I was brave. But I didn't feel like it. I was quivering and shaking in fear. I was so afraid. I thought I was going to die.  I was weak with fear and deathly afraid. I truly thought "this was it". But I knew I HAD to move. I had to run. Or there would be a worser fate in store for me. While I was quaking in fear, I forced myself to look around and see if there was any way I could escape, or even catch someone's eye.

6. I remembered the people I love.

The only thing that matters when you're faced with potentially horrendous fate, is the people in your life. When I felt the knife to my neck, the first thing I thought was , "This cannot be happening. I must be dreaming." The second? The people that truly matter to me flashed across my mind. It sounds cliche, but it's true. I thought of my parents. My brother. Khailee. Esther. More people. That's all I could think of for a few moments, before I thought, "Shit. I need to get out of here."

//

I ran towards the Maybank outlet at the Curve. There were plenty of people milling around. I screamed for help over and over again. I was hysterical. I grabbed an older Malay man by his shoulders and begged for help before practically collapsing at his feet. 

I will always remember the relief and liberation I felt, running over Mutiara Damansara's manicured grass and into the crowd. 

//

Today, I found out that the entire ordeal from the moment I left the parking ticket payment machine, to my escape, happened in about 4 minutes. To me, it felt like one long nightmare.

We never think its going to happen to us... and then it does. I used to think that this is something that happens only in the papers and to people far, far removed from me. But then it did happen to me. I moved to PJ/KL 6 years ago, and I've spent countless mornings, afternoons and nights at The Curve. When my friends and I were organizing Rock Up! back in 2008, we were walking around the place at 4AM even. It's been 6 years, and never once did I feel that I was unsafe at The Curve. Until yesterday. 

I feel like moving out of the country ASAP. Getting the hell out of this state where you hear of a kidnapping or attempted one every month (remember Nayati?), or a snatch theft every week. And yet I'm fully aware of the fact that in another country with more lax firearm laws, they would've been holding a gun to my head, not a cleaver. And that would've been so, so much worse. 

I'm Blessed. By God's grace, I am alive and relatively well. And I will live another day to build another cat iPhone app. It just was not my time to go. And for that, I thank God. 

I want to share this story with everyone because cops tell me that they rarely get to hear it from someone who escapes. 

Girls, be so very careful. Be vigilant, and please try not to go anywhere alone. If you need to walk to the carpark, and you're alone, get a guard to go with you. I was recently told that it's part of their job description to assist anyone if needed.

Guys, watch out for your girlfriends, wives, mothers, sisters and friends. Walk with them, don't take their paranoia or fear lightly. Watch out for them. 

And everyone, just watch out for each other. Take care of each other. These things really DO happen. As I ran out of the car, so many people came to help me. Strangers who didn't know who I was, came forward and offered me tissue paper, water, cellphones, and general comfort.

Malaysians, please care for one another. You already do. Just keep on caring. Keep watching out for each other. Don't worry about being thought of as "busy body" or "overreacting". The world can be a cruel place, but all it takes is for people to care for one another to make all the difference.

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I'd walk a thousand miles, if I could just see you, tonight.

Sometimes old songs are the best (:

Anyway, fourth year conference presentation tomorrow! Though am so nervous atm, really really can't wait for it to be over. It's been a very stressful month, working 9-7-ish for this project (on average). Guess I can't complain though, as some friends have been working on their projects non-stop for the past year /: (mad respect I don't know how they can stand it lol seriously).

Anyhow, T-15hours now. Wish me luck x

15 things you should give up to be happy.

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Original post: http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/#